What a year!

I can hardly believe that this Wednesday will mark a year to when I found out I had cancer.  This has by far been the most trying year of my life, in more ways than one.  I never would have thought that at age 29 I would say that I am a cancer survivor.... Gosh, it still sounds so weird to me, even though I have the scar to prove it, lol. This year brought much suffering, heartache and tears for my little family. There was the obvious trial of cancer, we lost 3 babies to miscarriages this year and I lost my beloved grandfather, amongst other things.  Honestly this year is somewhat a blur.  I felt like Job a lot this year :) I can only hope that I was half as faithful as he.  I don't write this update so you all feel bad for me, I'm writing because through out this past year, I've wanted nothing more than bring glory to my Savior's name.  God has allowed somethings this year that I would have, if given the choice before hand, obviously objected to.  However now as I look back on this year, I'm so incredibly grateful for God allowing these trials to come into my life. A few weeks ago as I sat in our Mothers Of Preschoolers gathering I listened to a lady talk about thankfulness.  A lot of what she had to say resonated with me, she has gone through some pretty awful things in her life and talked about how God transformed her thinking into thankfulness when trials come. Something she said stuck with me, she said (and I'm paraphrasing a bit)  "it's one thing to trust God in times of Trial, it's much harder to thank Him for those trials."  I trusted the Lord in these trials (even though i wanted to say enough is enough already, lol), I knew that God knew what He was doing even if I didn't understand or like it. I had peace, hope and comfort that can only come from Him. But was I thankful for these trials, not so much.  I sat convicting in our MOPS meeting for not being more thankful for all that the Lord has brought be through this year and the stronger person I am because of it all. For the past few weeks now I've been thinking a lot about everything that has culminated this year.  I've been purposely reflecting on the events of the past 12 month and all that has transpired. While I've been reflecting I just really couldn't help but to think of really how amazing it's all been. I'm thankful for all the trials, because they have brought me a deeper awareness of just how much God loves me, loves us. I'm thankful for a husband who didn't have all the answers (and I didn't want them) but was supportive.  I'm thankful for my rambunctious, gleeful little boy who seems unscathed by everything and brings me more joy then I ever would've imagined.  I'm thankful for family and friends who brought us meals, sent us cards, prayed for us (hundreds, if not thousands of people from all over the place).  I'm thankful that today I am cancer free. I'm thankful that I can enjoy this Christmas and not dread the next few months of surgery or radiation.  I'm thankful that even if God never chooses to bless us with another child ever again that he gave us Ethan. I'm thankful that we moved back home and have been surrounded by our families and people that have know us our whole lives.  I'm thankful that I get to stay home with our son, it's the best sacrifice we've ever made, I wouldn't trade being home with him for all the money in the world, any house, any car, any anything. The time I've had to be home with him and watch him grow up Has been an incredible blessing.  I'm thankful that my hard working hubby provides perfectly for our family.  I'm thankful that he's going to school and pursuing a better future for us even though he's tired and would rather be doing something else than homework every night of the week.  I'm thankful that his work reimburses us for tuition so we aren't getting into debt.  I'm just flat out THANKFUL for all the Lord has blessed me with. So here's to another year :)