What a year!

I can hardly believe that this Wednesday will mark a year to when I found out I had cancer.  This has by far been the most trying year of my life, in more ways than one.  I never would have thought that at age 29 I would say that I am a cancer survivor.... Gosh, it still sounds so weird to me, even though I have the scar to prove it, lol. This year brought much suffering, heartache and tears for my little family. There was the obvious trial of cancer, we lost 3 babies to miscarriages this year and I lost my beloved grandfather, amongst other things.  Honestly this year is somewhat a blur.  I felt like Job a lot this year :) I can only hope that I was half as faithful as he.  I don't write this update so you all feel bad for me, I'm writing because through out this past year, I've wanted nothing more than bring glory to my Savior's name.  God has allowed somethings this year that I would have, if given the choice before hand, obviously objected to.  However now as I look back on this year, I'm so incredibly grateful for God allowing these trials to come into my life. A few weeks ago as I sat in our Mothers Of Preschoolers gathering I listened to a lady talk about thankfulness.  A lot of what she had to say resonated with me, she has gone through some pretty awful things in her life and talked about how God transformed her thinking into thankfulness when trials come. Something she said stuck with me, she said (and I'm paraphrasing a bit)  "it's one thing to trust God in times of Trial, it's much harder to thank Him for those trials."  I trusted the Lord in these trials (even though i wanted to say enough is enough already, lol), I knew that God knew what He was doing even if I didn't understand or like it. I had peace, hope and comfort that can only come from Him. But was I thankful for these trials, not so much.  I sat convicting in our MOPS meeting for not being more thankful for all that the Lord has brought be through this year and the stronger person I am because of it all. For the past few weeks now I've been thinking a lot about everything that has culminated this year.  I've been purposely reflecting on the events of the past 12 month and all that has transpired. While I've been reflecting I just really couldn't help but to think of really how amazing it's all been. I'm thankful for all the trials, because they have brought me a deeper awareness of just how much God loves me, loves us. I'm thankful for a husband who didn't have all the answers (and I didn't want them) but was supportive.  I'm thankful for my rambunctious, gleeful little boy who seems unscathed by everything and brings me more joy then I ever would've imagined.  I'm thankful for family and friends who brought us meals, sent us cards, prayed for us (hundreds, if not thousands of people from all over the place).  I'm thankful that today I am cancer free. I'm thankful that I can enjoy this Christmas and not dread the next few months of surgery or radiation.  I'm thankful that even if God never chooses to bless us with another child ever again that he gave us Ethan. I'm thankful that we moved back home and have been surrounded by our families and people that have know us our whole lives.  I'm thankful that I get to stay home with our son, it's the best sacrifice we've ever made, I wouldn't trade being home with him for all the money in the world, any house, any car, any anything. The time I've had to be home with him and watch him grow up Has been an incredible blessing.  I'm thankful that my hard working hubby provides perfectly for our family.  I'm thankful that he's going to school and pursuing a better future for us even though he's tired and would rather be doing something else than homework every night of the week.  I'm thankful that his work reimburses us for tuition so we aren't getting into debt.  I'm just flat out THANKFUL for all the Lord has blessed me with. So here's to another year :)

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Visit with the Radiologist

Today I saw the Radiologist for a consult and to find out when I will have the Radioactive Iodine done.  I waited for over an hour and a half before I could see the doctor...Not cool!  Anyways, it was a good visit, the Doctor is a bit odd, well, maybe moderately odd, lol, but he was nice and he was thorough, which is always appreciated. By me anyway. Basically in a nutshell I will be on a low-iodine diet for two weeks prior to the treatment and the week of treatment.  It's kinda a 3 day process before the actual treatment.  The blessing of this process is a series of two injections called Thyrogen that I will have to elevate a level of one of the thyroid hormones.  This is so I don't have to come off of my thyroid medication, which is MUCH appreciated.  The first 2 days you I'll have the Thyrogen injections, some blood work and a very small amount of iodine.  The small amount of iodine is given for day 3 when I will have a full body scan to see if there is uptake in any other places other than my neck region.  This gives the Doctor an accurate picture of what he's dealing with and that is how he determines the dosage.  So, the third day is the big day when I will actually receive the Radioactive Iodine. After that I will need to be "quarantined" for 3 days from adults and 7 days for children/pregnant people/anyone with a compromised immune system. The doctor feels fairly confident that I will just need a small dose because the majority of my final pathology report was so good, minus that 1 darn lymph node :) Something you guys can be praying about are peace for me, it's going to be REALLY hard for me to be away from my son for 7 days.  It will be hard to be away from my husband to, but I'm with Ethan nearly 24/7 so 7 days is kind of a daunting thought for me.  I'm sure he'll be fine! Thanks for your prayers!!!

Post-Op Appointmet

Hey everyone, I hope you all are well!!  I had the post-op appointment this morning and learned the final pathology.  Unfortunately, I will have to have the Radioactive Iodine treatment, which I was hoping to avoid.  Mainly because the time away from my family that will be needed in order to have the treatment.  I don't know for sure how long yet, but from everything I've heard, I will have to be away from son for 7 days or so, which breaks my heart!  I have to be away from everyone else for at least 3 days.  Like I said, I'm not positive about the time away yet as I haven't talked with the Radiologist yet, but I've talked with some that have had it done and that's the general rule of thumb. That being said, the rest of the news was good, it was stage one cancer (the least aggressive) and it was pretty much encapsulated within itself, minus the one dumb lymph node it spread to, warranting the extended treatment.  I had 4 other lymph nodes and surrounding tissue taken out that were all clear, which is great!  The tumor itself was very small (less than a cm) and it was very early on.  All that being said, I see the Radiologist on April 6th (earliest they had!) for the consultation for the treatment, and we'll go from there.  So I have some mixed emotions, I'm bummed that I need more treatment because I don't want to be away from my family and I was hoping it was all just going to be over.  BUT, I'm very thankful that there are ways in today's day and age that they can treat it pretty harmlessly, I'm thankful to be surrounded by family that will be able to help with my son.  I'm thankful that the reoccurrence rate after the treatment is really rare.  Things could have been much, much worse!  I'm grateful for a God that even in the midst of what seem to some like bad news, He has a greater purpose and a reason for why He does what He does.  I don't need to know why He's planned this for me, but I don't need to, His word tells me how much He loves me and His plan is far better than my own for my life, so whatever He has planned for me, is ok with me.  Thanks for your continued prayers!!  Much love to you all!

Post-Surgery Update

I apologize that I haven't been diligent in updating.  Between trying to recuperate and my family, namely the 2 year old that never stops running around, I haven't had to much to even think about blogging.  Overall, things are going well.  I'm not going to lie, it hasn't been easy, but I've felt everyone's prayers and I continue to be thankful for all the Lord has done for us.  I will follow up with the surgeon on March 3rd, they should have final pathology reports by then.  The initial report from the doctor after the surgery was that my thyroid presented itself just as an auto-immune benign  diseased thyroid would.  Meaning it didn't appear grossly abnormal.  My right hand side was double to triple the size of the left side, which isn't abnormal.  So, all that said, that is probably a good thing, he couldn't see any "cancer looking nodules."  Evidently it looks different.  Anyways, the reason that can be good is because there's a good chance it is completely contained within the thyroid. We won't know anything for sure until the final pathology, but that is what we're praying for! Some things you can pray for:  I'm now 5 days post-op and starting to feel the effects of not having a thyroid, which in turn has caused my current medication dosage to not be enough.  So, I'm starting to feel pretty fatigued already and my legs are killing me.  Unfortunately they can not up my dose until I've had some time to live without and they can know a proper dose for me.  Which means I just have to grin and bear it until then.  It makes life interesting with a 2 year old!  The only other specific prayer request would be for the final pathology report.  We're really praying that it comes back good and no other treatment will be needed, specifically, that I will not need radioactive iodine (which I would have to be away from all people for at lease 4 days). Thanks again for your continued prayers!! My family really appreciates all the support!

Tomorrow's the big day...

So tomorrow is the big day.  I will have surgery tomorrow at approximately 3:20pm. I'm thankful that I don't have to get up at 4 am but the downside of having a later surgery is that I still can't eat or drink after midnight so that means that I will have nothing to eat or drink for close to 24 hours.  Oh well, I have much to be thankful for.  I'm so thankful for everyone's thoughts and prayers.  A cool thing happened this past weekend, my mom was in Florida and was at a women's conference with my Aunt Pat.  One of the leaders of the conference (if I'm not mistaken) was having a conversation with my mom and aunt.  Her son unfortunately has an aggressive form of thyroid cancer and is going in for his 2nd surgery on Thursday.  his name is Alex, you can pray for him to.  Anyways, at the end of the conference all the ladies stood up and held hands and prayed for me, my condition and my surgery.  I feel so honored to have so many people lifting me up to the Lord, it's humbling really. There's been people that randomly text me or message me a verse or just thinking of you's.  I have perfect peace about the surgery and the ultimate outcome of it all.  I'm not saying things always turn out as we would like them or plan, I'm saying that I have perfect peace no matter what.  That kind of peace can only come from the Lord. I don't have it within my power to muster up that much peace or calmness, but the Lord of this universe does and He has given it to me freely.  Phillippians 4:7 says "And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I'm thankful and comforted that this is all planned by God.  I'll try and keep people updated as best I can, but if you see an odd blog, it may be a drug induced one, so please for give me :) Thank you all so much for your prayers, I cannot begin to tell you how thankful I am for them.  

Pre-Op Visit

Hey guys and gal, I know it's been a while.  Thought I give an update from this past Thursday trip to the doctor for pre-op stuff.  I was beyond thankful that all I had to do was go the the doctor's office.  A lot of times you have to go to the hospital for pre-op stuff, which is sometimes a nightmare and usually takes forever.  I went to the doctors office, it took me an hour and I was out of there :)  I had a chat with the PA about the surgery, had an EKG (because of family history of heart disease) some blood work and then I was out.  So, for every one that hasn't read the previous posts, I'll have surgery on February 16th at St. Peter's. One huge blessing that has happened was my mom and step-dad were able to go to Florida earlier then they had planned.  They were set to go on February 17th, the day after my surgery.  My mom was really stressed about leaving right after my surgery.  So after some sleepless nights and a chat with my step-dad they decided to try and change things to go either later or sooner.  Thank the Lord that He worked everything out and they were able to leave yesterday and will be back in plenty of time for my surgery.  This will be a big help with Ethan and me (I don't care what you say, you're never to old for your mommy).  She will be another set of hands ready and willing to help and she knows how our lives work and Ethan schedule.  So I'm very relieved and thankful she'll be here. That's really all I can update you all on.  It's a waiting game, next is surgery, then I'll have more waiting for the pathology report to come back to see if any other course of treatment is needed.  Keep praying, I feel so blessed to have so many people lifting me up the Lord!